i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
