The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
