I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
