Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You work out of a Hotel?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
