And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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