somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it's great music for shaving your balls
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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