did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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