You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sext me about skeletons
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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