i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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