So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She's just so happy...and so naked.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
