One girl and one boy is just not enough.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
