the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
