Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
