Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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