My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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