You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
