I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
