1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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