He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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