Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
