you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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