if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
