i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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