check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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