I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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