I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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