i permit you to call me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
