she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
