you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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