I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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