do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
