i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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