I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
