yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
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