this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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