I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
