you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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