I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
