Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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