She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
