I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
