NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
