i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize