so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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