see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She bit a glass in half.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
