$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
