For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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