What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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