If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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