i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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