**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All I want is dick and wine.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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