Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
