so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
