Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
