I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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