I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
