That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize