On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This baby is an asshole
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
