____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize