Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
