so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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