It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
