Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
