How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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